Firstly, don’t take the title seriously, I’m a messer if you don’t already know. This little blog is about the one thing everyone apart from myself works towards looking good in all year round, while I search high and low for a dominoes code and a McDonald’s voucher – a bikini. I’ve noticed a new style bikini that absolutely terrifies me and excites me at the same time, yeno the ones that any normal lady bits probably wouldn’t fit into? Yeah, them ones. I’ve always wanted to be able to wear a thong bikini without feeling like I’m literally naked ( I know you more or less are naked but..) so I took my lady balls out of my purse and bought one. Now the chances of it going on my physical body in Ibiza are highly slim to none, so I’ve bought it to test the waters in Turkey, just relax in my little hotel resort knowing I’ll just be surrounded by oul ones. Look all you want Susan I don’t care x
The usual places to go for bikinis for me personally are PLT, Missguided, Penny’s, ASOS and recently I’ve seen Oh Polly have massive ones perfect for the likes of a holibop to Ibiza!
These bikini bottoms give me anxiety but I’m literally obsessed! For under €30 you can’t really go wrong, I ordered this in the black and the quality is fab, you can also pull the material along the string to cover more if you want which i love! Missguided have so many cheap bikinis, I love that you can mix and match colours and styles- gorge!
A good comfy swimsuit is essential for a holiday, ate too many bread rolls? Too many packets of Cheetos? Slight muffin top when you throw your bikini on? Say no more. Throw a swimsuit on and your sorted. This one is from PLT and only €25! Again, the high rise hip situation is a blessing and a curse, having a high rise leg or pulling your bottoms above your hips just brings in your waist that small bit more. A shaving rash wouldn’t be ideal but for all you soldiers that can go through the pain of waxing- get your high rise on!
This ones abit more wild than the others but I’m in love. It’s from Jaded Ldn, available on ASOS and under 60€! The colours are just stun and would be perfect for Ibiza! I love the top detail, it gives you boobs even if you just have nips. Again, high waisted but not so much high rise, also your arse isn’t completely out either so if your heading away with your nanny she probably won’t have a heart attack- happy days.
Just a heads up if your getting your summer wax girls don’t get your ma to do it cause she will end up with a kick in the face and you’ll be left roaring x