I love it when you call me seniorita

Well well well, I would say I’m back again but I already said that in my last blog and decided to disappear after ‘ making a comeback’ so I won’t repeat myself, let’s be real I don’t know if I’ll even keep this up as often as I was, it’s abit of a hard one to do between working and then sitting down for an hour or two shiting on about clothes and what not ( it’s actually not hard I’m just a lazy prick who would rather nap). Anywhoooooooo, since I recently done a Vengaboys on it and went to Ibiza, it would be silly not to write about my outfits ( or what little clothing I did wear). Now my style over there wouldn’t be considered suitable for everyone’s taste but listen, am not here for approval babies am here for a good time.

First up we might aswell go straight in no kissing, I’ve worn this skirt to death and I don’t even care- sustainable wha? It’s from Praydanna and it will be my funeral skirt let me tell you that, I got a 10-12 in it but overestimated the size of my waist so had to take it in abit at the side, it’s quite true to size I just shop for my hip size more than my waist because it’s easier to just take things in! The bandeau is from Etsy I think, burb on burb u say? I’m here for it. The leg harness is the best ali express purchase of my 24 years on this earth. Was defo worth the 609 day wait for delivery tbh. I’m telling you if you throw a leg harness on any outfit it automatically puts your sexy points up by 60.

Next up we have the outfit that almost got me kidnapped and sold into the sex trafficking industry, ladies if your to wear something like this make sure your not going out with just one other girl, the old men stares will infact make you puke in your own mouth. Other than all of the weird looks I got wearing this it’s actually my favorite little ensemble I wore in Ibiza. The perfect amount of clothes for the large amount of sweat dripping off your back- sexy. The top is just penny’s, knicker shorts are nasty gal, fishnets penny’s obv. Then the belt is bershka & my other beloved leg harness- another Ali express steal ( you honestly can get every kind of harness possible here so highly recommend getting the finger out and ordering now for next year).

This outfit is a prime example of what accessorizing can do for a simple dress, this dress cost me 9.95€ in h&m and even though it may have looked tie dye from the sweat on my arse at the end of the night it was still one of my favs! Simple yet effective as they say! I’m a big fan of a backpack but in crowded places I always feel safer having a fannypack on my front! Less chance of some wanker robbing me blind – love that for me.

My main advice for Ibiza outfit planning is- dont. I mean that to a certain extent, obviously plan a few bits but your better off just having all your accessories sorted and work the outfit around them, throw loads of different bits into your case and see what you feel over there, even better if whoever is with you has a few bits you can rob (cheers Marie your an angel sent from the heavens). Hope this will all help you sexy galz live your best porn star lookalike life on your holibops.

Much love,

Jessie x

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